Amazing & Fun

The value of Chinese proverbs has increased

The value of Chinese proverbs has increased with the passing of the ages because they ring as true today as they were thousands of years ago.

 

  • A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.

  • Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry I have plenty of money.

Jack SchittMany people are at a loss for a response when someone says, "You don`t know Jack Schitt."

Now you can intellectually handle the situation.

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt, and he has an interesting family tree:

In 1957, Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc.

They had one son, Jack.

Hotel MaidYou may find this article amusing. It`s an exercise in communications gone wrong. 

Dear Maid,

Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Imperial Leather. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.

Thank you,

S. Berman

 hitler time magazine

  • Sigmund Freud had a morbid fear of ferns.
  • Mark Twain didn't graduate from elementary school.
  • Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave.
  • The lighter was invented before the match.
  • The average left-handed person lives 7 years LESS than a right-handed person.
  • The average person has over 1,460 dreams a year.
  • A starfish does not have a brain.
  • In the 20th century, over three million people died from earthquakes.
  • Hitler was voted Time Magazine's man of the year in 1938.
  • In the spring of 1975, a baby in Detroit fell 14 stories and landed on Joseph Figlock, who was walking below. A few years later it happened again. Figlock and both babies survived.

 

 

  • Up to 1800 thunderstorms are going on in the world at any moment.
  • A citizen of the UK is most likely to be shot in November, drowned in July, and subject to a fatal fall in December.
  • One ounce of cress contains enough cyanide to kill two mice.
  • London houses did not acquire street numbers until 1763, three centuries after Paris came up with the idea.
  • Happy Birthday To You was written in 1936, is still in copyright and may not be sung in public without payment of a royalty – which is why it is so rarely heard in films or on TV.
  • Up to 58% of the London Underground is not underground.
  • A koala bear sleeps for 22 hours a day.
  • The Black Death of 1347 – 51 killed 75 million people.
  • The Hundred Years’ War lasted 116 years.
  • In the Gambia, Ghana, and the Comoros, every woman is married by the age of 50.

Linda is the proprietor of a bar in Cork .

In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers - most of whom are unemployed alcoholics - to drink now but pay later.

She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).

Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood into Linda's bar.

There were two Catholic boys, Timothy Murphy and Antonio Secola, whose lives paralleled each other in amazing ways. In the same year Timothy was born in Ireland, Antonio was born in Italy.

Faithfully they attended parochial School from kindergarten through their senior year in high school. They took their vows to enter the priesthood early in college, and upon graduation, became priests.

So the Tax Man is vaguely human after all!!

HMRC with a sense of humour
This is a real reply from the Inland Revenue. The Guardian newspaper had to ask for special permission to print it

Dear Mr Addison,

I am writing to you to express our thanks for your more than prompt reply to our latest communication, and also to answer some of the points you raise.

I will address them, as ever, in order.

Address

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