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Amazing

Amazing (16)

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Saturday, 08 March 2014 19:05

Age is a funny thing

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Do you realise that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we`re kids? If you`re less than 10 years old, you`re so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

Chief TecumsehChief TecumsehChief Tecumseh of the Shawnee Indians, placed a curse on the American presidency during the War of 1812.  While Chief Tecumseh died fighting for the Canadians against the Americans, he placed a curse on every American president elected in a year that ended in a zero.  The curse said that they would die during his presidency.  

Tuesday, 08 October 2013 22:10

Ferengi Rules of Acquisition

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ferengiferengiDo you remember Star Trek.  The alien species known as Ferengi were big capitalists.  Below are a set of guidelines intended to ensure the profitability of businesses owned by the Ferengi.  The Ferengi had many rules and the ones below are just their Rules of Acquisition

Monday, 07 October 2013 19:55

Priceless

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balls too bigballs too bigThe doctor said, “Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on a nerve at the base of your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.”

Friday, 17 May 2013 23:41

ANSWERING MACHINE MESSAGES

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  • A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.

  • Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry I have plenty of money.

Friday, 17 May 2013 23:17

Do you know Jack Schitt?

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Jack SchittJack SchittMany people are at a loss for a response when someone says, "You don`t know Jack Schitt."

Now you can intellectually handle the situation.

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt, and he has an interesting family tree:

In 1957, Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc.

They had one son, Jack.

Monday, 15 April 2013 22:09

Ten amazing Facts 2

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 hitler time magazinehitler time magazine

  • Sigmund Freud had a morbid fear of ferns.
  • Mark Twain didn't graduate from elementary school.
  • Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave.
  • The lighter was invented before the match.
  • The average left-handed person lives 7 years LESS than a right-handed person.
  • The average person has over 1,460 dreams a year.
  • A starfish does not have a brain.
  • In the 20th century, over three million people died from earthquakes.
  • Hitler was voted Time Magazine's man of the year in 1938.
  • In the spring of 1975, a baby in Detroit fell 14 stories and landed on Joseph Figlock, who was walking below. A few years later it happened again. Figlock and both babies survived.

 

Monday, 15 April 2013 21:49

Ten Amazing Facts

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  • Up to 1800 thunderstorms are going on in the world at any moment.
  • A citizen of the UK is most likely to be shot in November, drowned in July, and subject to a fatal fall in December.
  • One ounce of cress contains enough cyanide to kill two mice.
  • London houses did not acquire street numbers until 1763, three centuries after Paris came up with the idea.
  • Happy Birthday To You was written in 1936, is still in copyright and may not be sung in public without payment of a royalty – which is why it is so rarely heard in films or on TV.
  • Up to 58% of the London Underground is not underground.
  • A koala bear sleeps for 22 hours a day.
  • The Black Death of 1347 – 51 killed 75 million people.
  • The Hundred Years’ War lasted 116 years.
  • In the Gambia, Ghana, and the Comoros, every woman is married by the age of 50.
Wednesday, 20 March 2013 16:55

Auditing Santa

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How do you audit Santa?


Barry sat primly on the edge of his chair, deliberately ignoring the lure of the plump cushions that nestled behind his back. His stylus hovering importantly over the screen of his shiny PDA, Barry turned his best steely glare on his target, unaware that the expression made him look remarkably like a myopic ferret. His prim mouth tightened when the other man tried unsuccessfully to stifle yet another deep chuckle.


 

Wednesday, 13 March 2013 10:41

The Pope’s Election

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There were two Catholic boys, Timothy Murphy and Antonio Secola, whose lives paralleled each other in amazing ways. In the same year Timothy was born in Ireland, Antonio was born in Italy.

Faithfully they attended parochial School from kindergarten through their senior year in high school. They took their vows to enter the priesthood early in college, and upon graduation, became priests.

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