I was reminded of this ‘getting stuck’ idea a while back when out for a beer with the ‘old gang’ I worked with in NCI. The college was celebrating its 60th anniversary. We retired to the real Boardroom (the pub) when all the formal stuff was completed. One of the girls in the group had been dating a guy for 9 years – with no sign of an engagement ring. That provided tons of material and we spent a good bit of the night slagging her. All good humoured and good-natured; she’s great craic herself and was central to all of this (she subsequently got married, but we’re not claiming to have influenced this in any way!).
In the world of counselling, some people continually sabotage their own life. Through acceptance of a difficult situation or procrastination (a form of self torture) they tolerate bad situations on an ongoing basis, becoming ‘stuck’. Why? While there can be a myriad of reasons, one possibility is that people become ‘addicted to their own misery’. I know that language sounds harsh and judgmental – but the central thesis is valid. By accepting a bad situation, a person becomes part of the problem, despite the fact that they may outwardly rail against the particular circumstance and continually moan about it (Google ‘Self-Sabotage’ the next time you have a few hours to spare and ‘read all about it’).
Is there something in your life which isn’t right but you’ve been accepting it? Understanding why you accept this is the first step to moving forward. Don’t follow the philosophy: Never put off until tomorrow, what you can put off till the day after! The technical term for that is as follows: It’s nuts. Don’t say: ‘Yes, I’m gonna take care of my procrastination issues. Just you wait and see’! You own your own mental health. You might need support from a friend or a professional, but ultimately, you own the responsibility for this for taking control of your own life. Benjamin Franklin said: “You may delay, but time will not, and lost time is never found again.” (seriously, someone should put that man’s picture on the dollar).
If all of the above comes across as a bit ‘preachy’ remember this. The target audience for this blog is myself, a weekly reminder of things that I should be doing. I hope that there’s something in it for you too.