Life
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- Written by Bob Tallent
- Up to 1800 thunderstorms are going on in the world at any moment.
- A citizen of the UK is most likely to be shot in November, drowned in July, and subject to a fatal fall in December.
- One ounce of cress contains enough cyanide to kill two mice.
- London houses did not acquire street numbers until 1763, three centuries after Paris came up with the idea.
- Happy Birthday To You was written in 1936, is still in copyright and may not be sung in public without payment of a royalty – which is why it is so rarely heard in films or on TV.
- Up to 58% of the London Underground is not underground.
- A koala bear sleeps for 22 hours a day.
- The Black Death of 1347 – 51 killed 75 million people.
- The Hundred Years’ War lasted 116 years.
- In the Gambia, Ghana, and the Comoros, every woman is married by the age of 50.
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- Written by Bob Tallent
Linda is the proprietor of a bar in Cork .
In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers - most of whom are unemployed alcoholics - to drink now but pay later.
She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).
Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood into Linda's bar.
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- Written by Bob Tallent
There were two Catholic boys, Timothy Murphy and Antonio Secola, whose lives paralleled each other in amazing ways. In the same year Timothy was born in Ireland, Antonio was born in Italy.
Faithfully they attended parochial School from kindergarten through their senior year in high school. They took their vows to enter the priesthood early in college, and upon graduation, became priests.
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- Written by Bob Tallent
So the Tax Man is vaguely human after all!!
HMRC with a sense of humour
This is a real reply from the Inland Revenue. The Guardian newspaper had to ask for special permission to print it
Dear Mr Addison,
I am writing to you to express our thanks for your more than prompt reply to our latest communication, and also to answer some of the points you raise.
I will address them, as ever, in order.
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- Written by Bob Tallent
The country is in DEEP DEEP trouble...
The population of this country is approximately 4 million.
1 million are retired.
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- Written by Bob Tallent
An employee comes into her manager’s office to take a day off from work. The manager replies, "So you want a day off.
Let's take a look at what you are asking for.
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- Written by Bob Tallent
Dilbert Quotes
A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-type managers. These were voted the top ten quotes for in corporate America, circa 2004:
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- Written by Bob Tallent
It is a slow day in a damp little Irish town. The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt and everybody lives on credit.
On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the town, stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.
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- Written by Paul Mooney
My ‘affair’ with LinkedIn is in Rapid Decline
TMI (too much information). Backing off on communications can be more effective
This is a customer service story that reads like a southern states fairytale. As they say in Georgia: ‘Y’all ain’t gonna believe this shiiit’.